I'm constantly waiting for someone to blow me away, for me to fall in love just so that I at least know you can be conquered.

I am just thinking out loud here, and I think I'm really cranky at the moment so...there's that.

I seriously think that society is crazy cakes to expect a man and woman to live together forever! I don't mean be married forever, I mean reside in the same house or apartment. I seriously think that I would be so happy if we had separate apartments! No, I know I would. Right? I think so. We could meet for dinner or we could not. It'd be like we were just dating again right? Then he could stay over or I could stay over there. I could have my space and I wouldn't have to hear his music when he comes home and turns it on. I'm tired of asking him to just turn it off because I don't want to hear music right away and then he feels bad and then I feel bad and it's all so dumb. Sometimes, when I come home from work, I don't want to talk - and he does.
It all just boils down to the fact that maybe I'm not meant to live with people for extended periods of time. I think it would be straight awesome if we had separate apartments. And we'd probably spend most of our time at eachothers but the option is there!

Maybe if I were all young and really in love I'd think this was silly and why wouldn't you want to be touching or looking at or talking to one other person every single day forever and ever until we die. I don't know.

I don't know!

I might be having a late 20's crisis.

via

I've been...

+ Trying to understand the mustache thing and I don't get it. Why does everyone take pictures with them? Why is this cute????
+ Making mad deals with the universe. We found the perfect apartment and have to wait until next week to hear if we get it while we stall sending in a contract on another one.
+ Fighting my head. Migraines Migraines Migraines. All the time. It ruins all of the fun.
+ Reading Anthropology of an American Girl. It's good. Really good.

This collage is from Ivan Sanjuan

I'm in love with 8chf sandwiches from this Lebanese restaurant in Luzern. I want to eat there every night and at 8chf, it's such a deal. That's how much a frozen pizza costs!

My favorite drink now is a Spritzer. I'm off of beer for the time being, too heavy.  I'm off of over drinking and feeling like ass the next day, also. Here's the thing, I think I grew up significantly last week while I was sick. Like a mental growth spurt! I have no taste for sugar, empty foods, etc. I'm choosing tea over coffee with 3 spoonfuls of sugar which has been my morning cup for like the last 20 years of my life.

How boring am I being? Nothing exciting is happening. I did have a guiness yesterday, did you? The other only significant thing that happened this week was that I was in the middle of giving my dog a hair cut and I toasted the outlet thingy, so he has been half shaven the past 2 days and it's hilarious so I'm sad to finish it.

I have nothing else for the time being.

When you get side swiped by a song. When you're sitting there, minding your own business, maybe even subconsciously feeling good about the state of things and your progression as a person who is moving on from things.... and then a song plays. A stupid stupid song and the first few notes float right out of the speaker, head straight to your heart and start slicing it open...savagely.

Yeah, that sucks

I made myself from all the love you no longer wanted.
via i wrote this for you

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i just read a quote from garance dore (sp?) that said she overuses the word cool and then she quoted someone else saying 'i don't want to be cool' i want to be fashion. and this all just depressed me because fashion is over used too. so is cute. and inspiration. until all that is left is white noise. and i saw this 'apartment tour' on apartment therapy of a famous blogger and it honestly just looked like she collected everything that everyone thinks is 'cool' at the moment and put it in her house. there was no originality. nothing. I'm not saying that my home is original either, i'm just saying. but I would NEVER put one of those stupid be calm and carry on posters on my wall.
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i'm even tired of the word 'inspiration'. inspiration is NOT a cute outfit that you see on someone else's website that they saw on someone else's website and so on and so on. it is not inspiration - it's trendy and we like it and that is fine but it's not inspiring you is it?

isn't inspiration those moments that rock you to the core? isn't inspiration when it's midnight and you're on a snowy mountain and the full moon is shining down around you and the snow is sparkling and you can barely breathe because the world is so beautiful at that moment? those rare moments that you don't really share with anyone else but that truly mean something to you?
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or like when a blog friend that you've been emailing back and forth with asks you a simple question, like, "are you happy?" and all of a sudden you can't really breathe because maybe you're not. or maybe you are? maybe you have no clue or maybe you just don't know yourself at all. so you avoid emailing said blog friend back who lives on the other side of the world in a totally different life but somehow you like, navigate bigger topics...... because you don't have a proper answer for them yet.
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or like when how it dawns on you that maybe the people who know you best or you feel more real connections with are the ones that you haven't met. like the girl from over there whose photography you love and you know that you could hang out with her all day long taking pictures, walking around cool places and talking about deeper things (well actually you met her once in rome and had pizza and wine), or the other girl who's life is eerily similar to your own and who has become a best friend and one you could tell absolutely anything to. or the guy from up there who always seems to nail your ambiguous nature with sound wisdom or words and you're all 'damn, it is that easy' but can't figure out his own life so you try to do the same for him. or the one who i'd totally go smoke pot with and discuss the meaning of life and why the opposite sex is so ridiculous for forever. right?
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so then you wonder why you don't have the courage to show the people all around you who you really are and then you wonder who they really are and that is some crazy shit.